Why do we keep secrets? Why do we create secret activities and participate in them? How much do you know about why you have and keep secrets? And what affect does keeping secrets have on your life?

These are just a few questions I’ve been asking myself recently. As I become aware of my patterns I can see the connection between how my beliefs about myself and those around me shape my actions. And I can trace it all back to when the idea of keeping a secret began for me in my early childhood. I find this fascinating, and actually very helpful to making changes in my present life. As these changes come about, the amount of secrets I hold is dwindling, as does the shame and guilt associated with them. This is what I am ultimately after – complete freedom from shame and guilt. The road is certainly not an easy one to travel. I find myself looking at every single part of my life, knowing that eventually every secret I have will be dissolved. This is frightening at best. But I have a feeling that in exchange for my secrets, I get to re-possess my inner power, empathy, self-respect, self-forgiveness, and ultimate freedom.

I’m not suggesting that everyone should start blabbing all their secrets to everyone they know immediately. And certainly when in the process of dissolving secrets, one needs to be very aware to include respect for others, non-judgmental actions and words, and compassion. Society has secrets, so do governments and politicians, family members and friends, co-workers and neighbors. Everyone has secrets. But people hold secrets for many reasons and some of these reasons are destructive to our beliefs and perceptions about who we are as a person. These are the kinds of secrets to dissolve.  Making the distinction between whether a secret is held out of love for another, or for protection of a person or country, versus holding a secret because you want to control another with fear and manipulation is vital. We all have the ability to choose for ourselves. Any form of hindrance of allowing someone to choose for themselves is manipulation. Ponder your motivation when considering whether or not to dissolve a secret. Revealing the secrets of others has tremendous moral and karmic ramifications. We need to remember that not all the secrets we know about are ours to tell. But I’m really talking about dissolving the secrets that you keep from others about yourself. When you hold a secret that causes you to act on self-destructive patterns of behavior, it’s time to do the work to dissolve it.

Doing the work of dissolving a secret that you hold about yourself, your beliefs, your perceptions and your life experiences involves taking an intensely honest look at yourself. You have to get past the fear of looking within and get clearly honest with yourself in order to reveal why you keep the secrets. Most times we’re not even aware of the ‘why’. The awareness comes to consciousness in layers because usually when we look honestly at the stuff that scares us, it’s too much to process at one time. So we can’t force this process, it has to happen naturally. Yet as we peel back the layers and look deeper, the process intensifies and creates its own inertia. This process can be powerfully motivating and life changing! And yes, the fear is present too. And yes, it feels sometimes like the end of your world, but what about approaching this end as a beginning? A birth of your authentic self, a start to knowing and understanding yourself on a level you’ve never experienced before. What about actually creating an atmosphere of honesty and integrity in which you will thrive instead of just survive?